supergoddess writes

Maam Marie brought Mr. Leo Katigbak, head of Studio 23, to have a talk this morning.

It was actuall great, having to be bibbo and all about the powerpoint presentation, the series that they’re airing studio 23 and having to ask different questions about Big Brother, Gilmore Girls, Amazing Race, etc.

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Then he also brought a series called “SUPERNATURAL” and it would start airing a studio 23 next year. It was good actually. Sobrang pilot episode paang, ibang level na talaga. And I enjoyed it because Jared Padalecki stars in it.

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I enjoyed Big Brother last night because finally! Chx was reprimanded to go near Sam.
Believe me, I was really psyched just seeing SAM to be with anyone than CHX.

At ibang level ang Rico, artista na. Was in Yes Yes Show last Night.
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Im confused right now. ewan. May nakita kasi akong kakaiba eh. but anyway, I dont wanna think of possibilities whatsoever. I just needed to lie down for a while.

Thesis makes me berserk. ARGH!

My birthday was both a blast and a not-so-good blast this year, but at the end of the day, everything was all worthwhile.

Last Saturday, I was blaring to the whole class that they should have gotten another candidate for the AB Songfest because I think I screwed it up. Another thing, I felt sad when my mom didn’t even tell me to go to our house in Nova to celebrate. In other words, I felt so useless, alone, and incapable of doing anything right, a number one freak and a pain in everyone’s ass.

So the eve of my birthday comes and Ive been watching feel good movies of Ben Stiller so I could laugh the whole night and forget that I don’t have a family to spend my birthday with. Instead of being giddy, Ive drowned myself to self-pity and frustrations in life, singing a happy birthday song in my head.

I’m just glad that some of my friends greeted me when midnight struck.
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Then came morning, I have been receiving text messages from people already. Still no text message from my mother, and I could only afford to reply to people that has Sun Sims because I haven’t got any money due to the shopping spree to Quiapo with Mela to celebrate my last day of being a teen after the Saturday class.

Finally, my brother texted me to go there at Nova because my Tita Sol’s been expecting me since yesterday. So then, I went and found my mom lying on the couch, no celebration for me whatsoever. And Im seriously starting to weep at that instance.

Still, no other family came, I saw my other tita on the way there but turned out that my cousin’s sick so they couldn’t come to our house. Good thing my Tita Sol never failed me. I’m just relieved to see her.

After getting ready to go back to our house here in Tondo, I received a GLORIOUS (I really mean it) text message from an unknown number and says:

CONGRATS! u r part of kABog circle of 25! We wil be having a miting on Monday. Pls. Be at ABSC office ng 11 or 3 pm. Tnx.

And I’m telling you, instead of being sad and stupid at the previous times, that text message made it all worth it!

At first, I went like "oh my God, most have really sucked!" Ok, I’m being mean already. But you see, personally, I think I really did suck too.. I never thought that my knees would go shake again. I mean like, I have been doing interviews with few established names, Mariz Umali, Mayor Libunao, accompanied Nina to the Senate and saw (face to face) the senators but I wasn’t tense at those times. And I have sung at 2 debuts (and Nina’s debut was in World Trade pa! And I didn’t know half of the people who were listening pa, and sang recently at a wedding (where duh! I didn’t gaffe and some people even complimented that I should keep it up because I have an excellent voice). I feel as if I was betrayed by my previous problem, which is yeah, STAGE FRIGHT. I mean, when I told my MOM that I felt that way, she analyzed the problem and said:

"Ano ba yan, siguro kasi may judges, pero hello! Kumakanta ka sa debut, sa kasal pero yan lang natakot ka na? Hindi ka pang-contest, pang-guestings ka lang. Hindi ka na pala namin isasali sa contests kung dyan nga lang sa school niyo kinakabahan ka na. Dapat kasi nag-Center for Pop ka muna"

so I replied:

" Hindi pwede! May vow pa ko na after graduation ko, sasali ako ng singing contests. Gusto ko manalo ng house and lot, one million at kotse. Basta!"

but at the back of my mind:

"You cant let me feel worse! Kaya kong sumikat. Ipapakita ko sayo! Argh!"

but of course, that was before I got the text message. So I PROMISE to do well on the semifinals. So knee-shaking anymore! No no no no no!

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Thanks to the following people:

Erin- for the earliest birthday greeting via email!

Mela- for the greatest gift ever! And for going with me to Quiapo. I really had a great time though it was raining. And I loved the earrings that we bought. Ang cool, balik tayo ulit dun! At ibang level ang countdown mo!

Nina- for being there sa elimination and sa September Candymag. You’re really a great friend a girl could ever have. Better than Candymag! Luvyah girl! Hehehe.

Bubut- for calling me nung gabi pa lang. Lab talaga kita. Hugs and kisses kay Baby Googoo!

Twin Kaiz- Halatang happy ang bertday mo. May papa pang kasama..hehe.

Princess Michi, Daisy- for greeting me through text nung midnight pa lang.

Yan- Birthday mo ngayon! Happy birthday!
Trixie- Thanks talaga girl!
Jama and Adeth- you’re both great! Gosh, I feel as if it’s a heavy duty for me to be an important person to you guys. Hehe, joke.
Ruby- sa magandang morning quote at greeting!
Jopsie- Ibang level, ako ang youngest 20? Mukha nga.hehe
Ate Lorie- Mis na kita. Thanks!
Anne Quizon- isa pa, miss na din kita. Hope mag-bonding ulit tayo just like we were still kids.
Patrick- Thanks. Akala ko hindi ka na mag-gi-greet. I know, I referred you sa isang nightmare na pabalik-balik in my sleep but I’m just kidding. Please thank your mom for me.
Bes Jonnah- Hindi daw nya nakalimutan! Kung hindi lang ako nagtext sayo baka hindi mo rin naalala. Joke.
Iye- honored to be the birthday girl.hehe
Ninya- Salamat sa pagkanta ng happy birthday sa text. Sana’y sa susunod, may manghaharana na sakin ng happy birthday from you..hehe
Maro- Akala ko hindi mo na maaalala. Thanks gurl!
Ghie- textmate! Thanks. Songfest coming up!
Jackie- ang anak ko na nagwish na magkaroon na sya ng matinong tatay! Mahal kita!
Tita Lucy and Ate Lory- Thanks a lot!
Arthur- Ibang level ka din. Last greeting of the day! Sana’y maging masaya ka din sa lovelife. Hehehe

Tampo sa Xzeno. Si Yan lang ang bumati. Mabuhay ka YAn yan! Mahal kita..happy birthday din seo! hehehe..Kayo! Iti-treat niyo ko kala nyu! (^___^)

Sa mga 4journ1 nung Saturday! Mahal ko kayo! Mahal ko din si Sir Chua! (^________^)

Sa mga hindi ko napasalamatan, Tenchu din! AYABYU ALL!

In a few hours, I’ll be turning TWENTY already. I’m a bit excited and all but I’m neither frightened of anything nor conscious of my age, unlike Brent whom at his last birthday made a fuss on how he’s going to turn 20 already or something like that.

So anyway, I still feel that its a big deal to finally count what Ive earned, lessons that Ive encountered for the past 19 years. Let’s just see how much I could afford to scribble.

I’m LUCKY BECAUSE…

*Ive been blessed with an almost perfect family. Since the day I was born, I was never ever deprived of my childhood. My dad would buy me gifts and although he couldn’t always be there for me, I finally learned that he did all that for us. And sometimes, I would get mad at my mom for being strict but then she still show us how she cares for us.

*I made a whole lot of friends during elementary, high school and especially now that I’m in college. And luckily, the ones from my childhood are still there for me.

*I’ve been able to experience the feeling of love and be loved. I had good and not-so-good boyfriends, I had dates (although shempre patago!) and never did I pay once for a date. I dont know if I’m just lucky or something but at least I didn’t look like desperate for a date or something.

*Everytime something bad would happen, my instincts would tell me the right things to do. And I never underestimate my power towards that feeling.

*I’ve been to a lot of places already, attended plays, visited lots of museums, watched movies, and made music a big part of my life.

*I’ve been blessed with a voice that is fair enough for me to call a talent. And it amazed a lot of people already.

*My parents let me take the course and school I’m attending now. They have been supportive although we all know that writing is a tough profession to be in.

*Although there are tough times, I was still able to make up for it.

*I’ve been able to read a lot of books since I was young. And my mom encourages me to do so. From fairy tales to Sweet Valley, Archie comics and now, novels

*The feeling that I could always count on my friends and would stay with me in good or bad times.

*That even though I had this addiction on Candymags, my mom never burned a single copy of it.

*When I refuse or wanted to cry but feel as if I cannot, the sky would always cry for me.

*Even if there are a lot of pressures in this world, I could be able to relax watching movies with friends or with my family.

*That I finally believed in the phrase "TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS"

*I’ve been able to meet popular personalities, people who are not famous but has a lot to offer, and ordinary people who would forever change my life and my perspective.

*Although I have been turned down by a lot of people or have been accused of things that I’m not really capable of doing, I would always stay strong and believe in myself.

*God gave me lots of confidence to be what I really want.

*I was never hated by anyone unless its necessary. Anyway, I don’t have anything to hide or they couldn’t expose something from me naman.

*I was never forced to do anything I oppose to.

*And lastly, for the years that Ive been loved, though of, cared. Because that made me the person I am now.

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To my childhood friends — Alydee, Vangie, Madel, Abi, Pen, Myla, Raymond, Mel, Jack, Jovie, Mitos, Anne, Joy, Juvi, Shasha, Margaret

To my elementary friends–Ninya, Iye, Tessa, Sason, Kim, Vanessa, Rica, Mike, Reyland, JP, Dyan, Pauline, Stefan (happy birthday din!), Eldie, Karina, Edrei, etc.

To my high school friends –Sis, Malyn, April, Jackie, Andrea, Lovely Joy, Maro, Jeptha, Pre, Rona, Bevs, Ina, Michelle,

Ang mga love na love kong Xzenophillia Quixotics — Shang, Eden, Jen, Wy, Jhile, Jheng, Bien, Yan, Riza, Kaye, Ann, Chet, Vaneng, Tats, Tin, Jeisen, Jayson, Julborn, JN,etc.

Shempre, the people that I’m with right now — Karmela, Jops, Brent, Nina, Schuy, Jam, Badet, Erin, Princess Michi, Twin Kaiz (Happy Birthday!), Daisy, Earlie,and the rest of 4JOURN1 and other college friends, NSTP Friends, etc. We rock!!!

Sa mga nagpaiyak sakin na mga hinayupak na lalaki, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

My elementary Bes Jonnah

My bezzie BUBUT
And to all the people that have been a part of my life.

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Oh diba? Thank you to the max ito. Birthday ko naman, pagbigyan na ko.

I still cant believe I’m turning 20. Sorry, hindi naman po kasi halata eh.

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BTW, I sang for KABOG- AB SONGFEST today. I can’t believe I sucked. I mean, Im used to debuts and weddings but I never saw this coming. Not for at least a few months. My knees went shaking the whole time I was singing. I let my 4Journ1 down. And now I feel as if im not born for it anymore..=(

But I’ll be okay i guess..

Gracias y’all! =)